Family under Fire

   There has been a great deal of commotion over the past several years regarding several significant moral issues in this nation. The debates have raged long and hard, and have been at the focus of media attention, especially recently. While some of them are important battles to be fought, I fear that all the commotion regarding some of these moral issues in regards to the family are distracting from another, much bigger problem.

   It is easy to name several  significant problems in the world, especially ones that are damaging to the family, but I believe that it is easy to forget one of the greatest threats to our families. Regardless of attempts to legislate morality, those who do not know God will continue to follow their sinful hearts wherever it leads. Man, left to his own ends, is a totally depraved creature. Thus, we see these numerous moral issues becoming even more prominent as the years go by. But,  there is one central issue that is frequently ignored or glossed over, even among many who call themselves Christians. That issue is divorce.

   I believe because the Church has been largely silent about divorce, despite the fact the the divorce rates are about the same in the church as they are out (around 50%), the world does not take us seriously when we speak out about other moral issues, such as homosexuality. We speak out against homosexuality because of the damaging effects it can have on families and because it is a sin, exactly opposite of God's plan for a marriage.  These things are certainly true, but by our actions regarding divorce, we show in effect that marriage is not as sacred and special as we may say it is. Thus, the world will not take us seriously because we are speaking on an issue we don't seem to believe or practice in our churches - namely that marriage is a sacred covenant.


   This casual attitude regarding divorce is having negative ramifications here in this country, and in most of the West. Divorce destroys more families than any other significant issue, even though those issues have created a much bigger stir in the media and in our churches.  Several studies have been done in America regarding divorce, and the results are startling.

   First of all, it is clear that this trend is getting worse, and further it impacts several generations. Brian Orchard from Vision.Org, notes this on the current trends, "Over the last 40 years an increased acceptance of divorce has produced profound changes in our attitudes about marriage and family. . . During the 1970s, the divorce rate doubled as young folks' attitudes on fidelity, chastity and commitment became very different from those of their parents. The change created less of an incentive to work out marital difficulties." (Orchard, "Culture of Divorce", http://www.storknet.com/cubbies/familylife/culture-divorce.htm) .


   Because of this, the social and moral atmosphere in the West has become increasingly more hostile to the family unit. There is a lack of definite family structure. Fewer couples marry. Cohabitation, an unstable arrangement, is common. Orchard, writing at Vision.org, notes, “Adults, in their eagerness to reduce difficult situations for themselves, convinced themselves that... divorce is a temporary crisis... and that with time children would adjust if the parents “worked things out” amicably. Both suppositions, however, are being seriously challenged today.” (Orchard, "“Family and Relationships: A Culture of Divorce”. Vision.org. http://www.vision.org/visionmedia/article.aspx?id=472)


   One of those suppositions that have been seriously challenged is that divorce is only between two people, that the effects stop with the two who go through this process. This, however, is not the case. Divorce has major impacts on the children who are caught in these broken relationships, and the data is clear: these impacts are destroying their lives. Patrick Fagan and Robert Rector note this at The Heritage Foundation, "Each year, over 1 million American children suffer the divorce of their parents; moreover, half of the children born this year to parents who are married will see their parents divorce before they turn 18. Mounting evidence in social science journals demonstrates that the devastating physical, emotional, and financial effects that divorce is having on these children will last well into adulthood and affect future generations." (Fagan and Rector, "The Effects of Divorce in America", http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2000/06/the-effects-of-divorce-on-america)


   Another article put out by the same organization notes this on the effects divorce has on the children:  "Children of divorced parents are far more likely than children of stable, two-parent families to live in poverty, have health problems, and become victims of abuse and neglect. They also have higher dropout rates, initiate sexual activity at an earlier age, commit more crimes, and have higher rates of drug and alcohol addiction." (Heritage Foundation, http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2000/06/new-study-details-harmful-effects-of-divorce-on-american-society) Another, more recent study by the Marriage and Religion Research Institute published last year (2012) by Fagan and Aaron Churchill notes on the various ways divorce undermines not only the family but the culture at large. It has profoundly negative impacts on the family, on faith, on education, government, personal health, and economics. The full study can be found here: http://marri.us/effects-divorce-children.


   Now that we have a better understanding of just how destructive this trend has been, I believe we need to also look at what scripture has to say about marriage and divorce. By looking at God's word, we can be reminded of His purpose for marriage.


   Marriage was intended to be a sacred, life long covenant. Jesus makes this clear when He answered the Pharisees regarding marriage and divorce in Matthew 19. "“Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who created them in the beginning made them male and female,” 5 and He also said:“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.”" (Matthew 19:4-6, HCSB)

    The command in the passage is clear. Since God has joined these two people together, man must not separate that union. "No human being should think that he or she has the moral right, unilaterally to dissolve the covenant. The covenant cannot be dissolved without challenging the One who insures the covenant: God himself" (William Luck, “The Teaching of Jesus on Divorce — (Matthew 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12)” Bible.org. http://bible.org/article/teaching-jesus-divorce-%E2%80%94-matthew-193-12-mark-102-12) 


   Elsewhere in scripture, we find more that confirms this high view of the marriage covenant. Hebrews 13:4 relates that marriage is sacred, and should be kept as sacred by all. It is an intentional covenant, for life. Furthermore, as explained in Ephesians 5, it is a picture of Christ and the Church. It is supposed to be a special, permanent covenant that reflects Christ's love for His church.  Marriage is a very special, sacred covenant, a fact that Scripture attests to over and over again.


   Scripture also has commands and teachings regarding divorce. Simply put, it should not be an option. While there are very few instances given where divorce is permissible, the message is clear. Divorce is not God's intent for marriage. In Matthew 19:9, Jesus says, “I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (NIV). These remarks appear several other times in the other synoptic Gospels. The passage is clear: divorce is akin to adultery. Luck notes on this regarding the whole passage within Matthew 19, “Nonetheless, there was within Jesus’ words a rather shocking implication. Jesus was saying that the man who took advantage of Deuteronomy 24:1-4 and put away his wife was really guilty of the sin of adultery—though sexuality was not involved.” (Luck, Bible.org)

   It must be remembered that while there are allowances, they exist to protect, and are not meant to be used as an excuse. Amy Desai notes, “divorce is not required. If your spouse has committed adultery, divorce is morally allowed, but not required. Many couples have been able to rebuild their marriages even after such a devastating blow.”( Desai.  “How Should a Christian View Marriage and Divorce?” Focus on the Family. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/should_i_get_a_divorce). This is a crucial point. While divorce in a few cases is permissible, it is not recommended by Scripture.

   If that is not clear enough, in Malachi 2:16, God shares his personal feelings regarding divorce: “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence,” says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously." (NKJV) God may allow rare occasions of divorce, “because your hearts were hard.” (Matthew 19:8b, NIV), but He hates it. Divorce defaces God's good creation - the union between man and wife.

   Unfortunately, I fear that this is a blind spot in many of our churches today, despite these very clear passages regarding divorce. It should not be tolerable that the divorce rate among those who call themselves "Christians" is the same as those in the world! (Though that could be indicative of the fact that many who go to church are not Christians; that is, followers of Christ) The fact that this destructive monster is rampaging through our churches just as much as it is in the world should cause us to pause, and repent. Divorce should not be an option. It is far too costly, and mars the picture that God has created in the marriage covenant.

   Marriage is meant to be a picture of Christ and the Church. It is a covenant that God established. The Church must remember these things and remind the culture of God's intentions for marriage and the family. We should be just as vigorous, if not more so, in confronting the divorce problem in America as we are about confronting the homosexuality problem or other moral issues like it. Only through Christ's power can internal changes take place in people's hearts, which is much more effective at solving the divorce epidemic in America. Furthermore, we need to be just as vigorous confronting this issue in our churches and proclaiming it to others. We need to set the example of what true marriage looks like.  We need to make it clear in our churches that Marriage is a special covenant relationship ordained by God that is intended for forever. God intends marriage to last for a lifetime.

   This is why we need to be willing to do whatever it takes to make our marriages survive and thrive. We can not take this union for granted, or just simply tear this covenant apart on a whim. Marriage certainly can be hard, but it is worth it. However, we do not have the strength to make it work on our own. It is only through Christ's strength, His grace, as I discussed recently, that we can hold on and make our marriages strong. But, when we do, it is worth every bit of toil. Marriage was not meant to end abruptly in divorce, but to showcase to the world what true love looks like in the picture of Christ and His church.

Counting Blessings

   As I have been thinking back over this past week, I am reminded just how blessed I am. There is joy in thanking God for the many ways He has blessed our lives, and as I get older, I realize this all the more. Sometimes, when our eyes are on our circumstances and the various challenges in life, it can be difficult to be thankful. However, there is great value in taking a step back, refocusing on God, taking the time to realize how He has blessed us, and then thank Him for His infinite goodness to us - goodness we do not deserve.

   I am so thankful for my family. God has so richly blessed our little family of three. This week, I was able to spend considerable time at home with my wife, talking with her, getting to know her more, and reconnecting a little after a very busy weekend at work. Also, I have enjoyed the time I have had playing with my 1 year-old daughter! She is such a goof, and delight. (That is her playing outside today in the photo)

   I am also thankful for our extended family (my family and my wife's family). They are all an important part of our lives, and although we have not seen them much this week, the brief visits have been very special.

   God has also richly blessed us with some good friends. At the beginning of the week, I was able to get together with some of my close friends from high school, catch up on life a little bit together, and play some board games - which is always fun with these guys! Last night we had the blessing of visiting with a family very close to us who have been valuable friends and mentors. It was a good evening of talking, laughing, and enjoying the beautiful outdoors. Today, we were able to see some other good friends of ours and celebrate their daughter's 2nd birthday with them. (The reason why my daughter is all dressed up in the picture - it was taken right before we left)

   The more I ponder, the more I find for which to be thankful: The strength to finish my college degree (I just got my diploma in the mail this week!), a good job for this season of life, more time at home because of the summer, and on and on and on! Sometimes, we forget just how blessed we are; we have food, shelter, friends, family, and Scriptures in our own language. I think it is at our own detriment that we take these things for granted. We lose sight of just how blessed we are, and then we complain. The reality is that we do not deserve any of these blessings. But, life is a gift, and it is valuable to see it that way. I would encourage you, especially if things seem crazy in your life right now, to take time to count your blessings and thank God for His loving kindness to us.

The Triumph of the Gospel

    In my previous post, I discussed the reality of the human condition. It is important to remember that we had no part in saving ourselves; it is entirely by God's grace that we are saved. This is the beauty and the power of the Gospel. However, the triumph of the Gospel does not end there. The same grace that does for us what we could never do, continues to be with us.

    I had briefly discussed this in the last post also, that we are remade into a new creation. If any man is in Christ, he is a new creation - that is, he has a new nature. Paul discusses this in Romans, which we will look at as we examine this particular aspect of the triumph of the Gospel, namely how it transforms our lives as believers. I believe that there is often a common misconception regarding this Gospel that is floating around today; claiming that salvation is the only aspect of the Gospel. One can continue to live as he had before. This, however, can not be, for this Gospel has a transforming nature.

    Continuing on from where we left off in Romans, we will pick back up in Romans 7, and continue to Romans 8. There are varying interpretations of Romans 7:13-25. Does this passage refer to Paul's experience as a mature believer (continuing to be a slave to sin, struggling with sin, etc) or does it describe life before salvation, particularly regarding the experience of a Jew under the Law? Resolving this theological/contextual sticky point is important, because it impacts how you look at the power of the Gospel to impact the rest of your life.

    Paul states in Romans 7:14-21, "For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am made out of flesh, sold into sin’s power. ¹⁵ For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with the law that it is good. ¹⁷ So now I am no longer the one doing it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me. ²¹ So I discover this principle: When I want to do what is good, evil is with me." (HCSB) 

    It is clear that Paul is describing the agony of being at the mercy of his sin nature, desiring to do good, but no ability to do it. This is certainly not the victorious Christian life described elsewhere in scripture, and for good reason: It isn't. Douglas Moo, in his commentary on Romans, notes this, "Paul is describing his life as a Jew under the law before he came to Christ. . . what is ultimately decisive for me [for determining this context] is the fact that Paul's description of the person is contradictory to his description of the Christian in chapters 6 and 8." (Moo, The NIV Application Commentary: Romans, pg 235). This is certainly supported by a careful reading of the context. Whereas in 7:14, Paul describes life as being unspiritual, "sold as a slave to sin". This contrasts with 6:18, 22, and others which describe our life in Christ as being "set free from sin". Again, in 7:23, Paul writes of being a prisoner to sin, whereas in 8:2 he describes how Christ Jesus has set us free from the law of sin and death. 

    That determined then, it is clear that Paul is writing in chapter 7 to graphically illustrate the fact discussed in the last post, namely that there is no good thing living inside him without Christ. He ends the chapter in victory through Christ, which also speaks of how God's grace redeems us from our wretched condition that we could do nothing about: "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this dying body? ²⁵ I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord!<sup>"  (24-25a, HCSB) 

   Chapter 8, then declares Christ's victory and describes the new life for the believer, now that he has been set free from the law of sin. "</sup>Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus, ² because the Spirit’s law of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death. ³ What the law could not do since it was limited by the flesh, God did. He condemned sin in the flesh by sending His own Son in flesh like ours under sin’s domain, and as a sin offering, ⁴ in order that the law’s requirement would be accomplished in us who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. . .⁸ Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. ⁹ You, however, are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, since the Spirit of God lives in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.¹⁰ Now if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. ¹¹ And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, then He who raised Christ from the dead will also bring your mortal bodies to life through His Spirit who lives in you. (Romans 8:1-4, 8-11, HCSB)

    Chapter 8 makes clear the contrast between the man described in chapter 7 and the new man in chapter 8. It is clear that the fleshly mind and attitudes have been swept away. This is the stage where God's grace shines through our lives even more, as we seek to walk according to the spirit. Eric Ludy notes, "Contrary to popular opinion today, grace isn't just an accepting hug from God when we miserably fail in following Him. Rather it is the power of God enabling us to follow so that we need not fail, but triumph." (Ludy, Bravehearted Gospel, pg 232).  

    Our new nature does not mean we are perfect, as the scriptures certainly attest to. However, it does mean that we have a new nature, as Paul describes in Romans 8. We can now serve God and love God with our lives, thoughts and actions. Before we could not because we are so tainted with sin. Now, we can serve Him, and by His Grace, live as He wants us to live. Elmer Towns, in Theology for Today, notes on this change that it is "the work of God through the Holy Spirit, of placing in one who has faith, a new nature capable of doing the will of God. . . It gives the believer new desires to do the will of God (new nature) and gives him the life of God." (Towns, Theology for Today, pg 460). 

    To be sure, our sin nature still exists, as we all can attest. I do not mean in anyway that by having a new nature, we can not sin, or it is next to impossible to sin. This is not reality and the scriptures do not support such a view. However, as Romans 6-8 brings out, there is still a marked contrast between a believer and unbeliever. A believer has a new nature. He is free to please God, to serve Him, to love Him. We can not do this without a new nature because of our total depravity apart from God's grace. David Platt describes this change this way, "That gift of Grace involves the gift of a new heart. New desires. New longings. For the first time, we want God. . . We want him so much that we abandon everything else to experience him. This is the only proper response to the revelation of God in the gospel." (Platt, Radical, pg 39). 

    This is the Triumph of the Gospel: It saves us from our despicable condition, gives us a new nature and desires to follow God, and gives us a mission - to follow God and serve Him. The same grace that saved us also strengthens us. This is why the Gospel is such good news. 

No Good Thing (The Reality of the Human Condition)

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately on the nature of man, particularly in regards to morality. This especially has seemed to have come up a lot lately with the recent atrocities in the media. Many think it unfathomable that a normal human being could do such acts. For those outside the Christian faith, it is unthinkable, completely outside their worldview. In essence, all other major religions, atheists included, hold that mankind is basically good or that man can fix himself. Sin and evil are described as a condition from without that is dragging man down, but he can overcome it. We see this mentality even in Christianity today, at least here in our Western culture.  We are so focused on self improvement, that even our understanding of the Gospel is seen through this lens. The Gospel is seen as a way to make us a little bit better than we already are so we can meet God's standards. As long as you live a moral life, pray, go to church, you are well off.

This, however, is not reality. The frightening reality, which is made clear, I believe, in scripture is that man is desperately wicked, and there is nothing good about him. So, we should not be surprised by those who commit these terrible acts, because we have the same potential inside each of us. Each of us are desperately fallen, wicked creatures, living in rebellion against God. Despite the fronts and attempts at morality we put up on the outside, the reality is that on the inside, we are dead; filled with wickedness.

The Apostle Paul realized this, and makes an excellent case on the condition of man kind in Romans 1-7. In Romans 3:10-12, he writes that " There is no one righteous, not even one. There is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away: all alike have become useless. There is no one who does what is good, not even one." (All scriptures quoted are from the HCSB unless noted otherwise). Notice the use of "All" and "no one". It seems very clear that no one is exempt. Not even Paul is exempt, as he later admits in Romans 7:18, "For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh." There is literally no good thing in us. Scripture is clear, and if we are brutally honest with ourselves, we can see that there is no good thing, no clean thing about us. We may not have committed evil acts that all can see, but likely we have evil thoughts. There is no escaping from this human condition

Those who hold to Calvinist theology refer to this concept as the "Total Depravity" of man. I think that is a good way of understanding this. Even in Christian circles, we think that we just need to be good. The sad reality is, however, that being good in the truest sense of the word is impossible for us, and therefore there is absolutely nothing we can do about our condition. Over and over, Scripture is clear- we are dead in our sins.  Jeremiah speaks of our heart being deceitful and wicked. (17:9) Paul's agony in Romans 7:24 speaks of our condition "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this dying body?"

Why discuss this? My purpose is twofold: first, to show and remind us just how much we have been saved. Paul finishes his thought in Romans 7:25 by declaring the victory in Christ. This is the beauty of the Gospel. This is the message of Good News- We were desperately wicked without  any hope of redemption, and utterly despicable before God, but He does something we could never do and puts to death our flesh, our sin natures. This is the triumph of the Gospel. It is important we realize just how great the cost was for us to be transformed. By realizing the extent of how far we are separated from God, we realize the great power and cost of His grace; it is no sappy hug from God to bring us into His family. It is a costly love to give up everything He had to save wretched creatures who have rejected Him

My second purpose is to remind us of the vivid contrast Christ's lordship should make in our lives. We were once dead in our transgressions and sins, and now we are alive in Christ and in His righteousness. There is no better way to show the contrast between the human condition, and Christ's answer. This imagery of the New Man appears several times in the NT for good reason: to remind us that as we have a new nature, we also have a new master. He has raised us to life to follow and serve Him.

It is simply wishful thinking to think that Christ only came to show us how to be good- we have no ability to do so. It is only through Christ's grace we are saved. There is a deadly myth that going to Church and leading a moral life will lead to eternal salvation. This is simply not true. There is nothing good in us! We can not fix ourselves! David Platt notes on this, "The modern day gospel says, 'God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Therefore follow these steps and you can be saved.' Meanwhile the biblical gospel says, 'You are an enemy of God, dead in your sin, and in your present state of rebellion, you are not even able to see that you need life, much less cause yourself to come to life. Therefore you are radically dependent on God to do something in your life that you could never do.'" (Radical, 2010, pg 32.)  It is only through Christ that salvation comes, and this is why it is so important to remember where we came from, and remember that we have no real part in our salvation other than our repentance and placing Christ as Lord of our lives. He is the one who saved us.  His Grace is what gives us the chance to be remade in His image. He is the one that pulled us out, and gave us a chance to follow Him.

Just telling someone to accept Jesus is not adequate. That implies that you are just adding His grace to your goodness. Instead, when we talk to others about salvation, it must be transparently clear that all are dead and wicked, and there is absolutely no hope of life outside of ourselves. It is only be a complete repentance by God's Grace, and a decision to follow Him that we can be rescued from our bondage, and remade in to a new creation. Therefore, He deserves our praise and adoration for doing what no one else could do, and completely transform us. Also, the hope in that is this:"Therefore, no condemnation now exists for those in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1).