The Christian Marriage (1 Peter 3:1-7)

" In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message,they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives." (1 Peter 3:1-2, HCSB)

"In the same way..." refers back to the previous section in chapter 2: servants submitting to their masters and following Christ's example in suffering, living for righteousness, being dead to sin. The main concept to which Peter is referring back to is the idea of submission to authority. In the same way that servants are to submit, and the same way we submit to Christ as we follow His steps, so are wives to submit to their husbands.  

The original Greek word, hypotassō, is the same word as used back in chapter 2, which we have studied here. This means that the same ideas are implied here and the same concepts relevant to this discussion. 

Further, Peter commands wives to submit, even if their husbands are disobedient to the message. From the original Greek, this phrase seems to imply that the husband is not saved. If a husband is not a Christian, the Christian wife is not excused from her duty to submit. In fact, her life and her conduct should be pure and reverent so that her husband may be won over (literally, "to gain") to Christ. The purpose of this command is not to shackle the woman, but to enable her to be the best witness possible to her husband.

(To be clear, a wife is responsible first to God, above her husband. I am NOT advocating that a wife, in seeking to be submissive, does something that goes against God's commands out of submission to her husband)

 Actions DO speak louder than words, and by loving her husband by submitting to him, and by living a pure (set apart) and reverent life, he can see a picture of Christ and Christ's love for him, and so be won over. Peter seems to emphasis that the best way to lead your husband to Christ (And I would believe this works the other way as well), is not to nag or preach at him, but to live out the Christian life as it is meant to be lived. When he asks, always be ready to give the reason why you are different, but your lifestyle should preach much more strongly than your words. The wife's actions should cause the husband to seek out what makes her different. 

" Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes.4 Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes." (1 Peter 3:3-4, HCSB). 

This passage makes it clear that a Christian woman's beauty is not primarily found in her physical appearance. While Peter does not necessarily condemn the use of hairstyles, jewelry or fancy clothes, he is very clear that focusing primarily on your outer, physical beauty shows misplaced priorities, and leads to vanity.

Paul, when he wrote to Timothy, further explains this: " Also, the women are to dress themselves in modest clothing,with decency and good sense, not with elaborate hairstyles, gold, pearls, or expensive apparel, 10 but with good works, as is proper for women who affirm that they worship God." (1 Timothy 2:9-10, HCSB). 

The biggest issue here is the inner woman. Beauty will perish with time, but the inner beauty that Peter and Paul describes has an imperishable quality. Peter describes it as a gentle and quiet spirit- describing one who is submissive and reverent.

"For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also beautified themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and are not frightened by anything alarming." (1 Peter 3:5-6, HCSB). 

Peter than makes a case from Biblical history to support this command. Those women who where pious, holy, and reverent were beautiful because they lived in this way. The women we look up to the most in scripture, those holy women such as Sarah, Ruth, Esther, Mary, were beautiful before God not on account of any physical beauty they may have possessed but because of their inner attitude. They had the gentle, quiet spirit of submission. They were submissive, first to God and His commands, and then to her husband. 

Sarah is lifted up as an example of this. Peter notes that she obeyed Abraham, literally meaning she subordinated herself to his leadership. By submitting to Abraham, she was living out the role she was designed for- to be his helpmate. By living likewise, wives become her spiritual children.

Further, Peter makes an interesting command at the end of verse 6: "You have become her children when you... are not frightened by anything alarming". We all, by nature tend to be worriers. We worry about each other's safety, or what what tomorrow will bring. This brings to mind the commands from Jesus in Matthew 6:25-34, where He commands us not to worry. We cannot even add one day or moment to our life by worrying. In essence, this is what Peter is getting at here, particularly in his discussion with wives. Worry and anxiety are not helpful. Being controlled by fear detracts from a woman's spiritual beauty. 

" Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." (1 Peter 3:7, HCSB).

Peter than turns his attention the husbands. This section, while noticeably shorter, is no less important. Husbands are to live (literally to reside together as a family) with their wives in an understanding way -not getting frustrated with them, or treating them roughly, or inappropriately. Also implied in the language is the idea of understanding your wife- knowing what makes her tick, and appreciating her strengths and personality. While the word "love" is not used here, in essence, this is what Peter is commanding husbands to do. Being considerate of her, treating her gently and with honor, knowing her intimately- these are all aspects of how a husband should love his wife, as he is commanded elsewhere in scripture. 


Men are also commanded to show their wives honor as the weaker vessel. A woman, by nature and design, is more fragile and delicate than the man. This is not a put-down to the woman but a recognition of her delicate beauty. Husbands have a mandate to carefully treasure their wives, to honor them, and love on them in a way that is gentle. Loving your wife needs to be done in a gentle way. 

Further, this does not mean that a woman is inferior to a man. Peter notes that they are heirs with us to the grace of life. Some translations put it as "co-heirs". The original Greek word, "sugklēronomos" can translate as "a fellow heir" or a "joint participant". This implies that we have an equal participation and standing in the grace that is given to us. It is equally there for her as it is for him. Therefore, since wives are an equal heir with their husbands, wives deserve to be treated gently and with honor, treating them like the valuable, delicate treasure that they are.

This harmony in the Christian marriage is vitally important. Not just for the marriage itself but for the husband and wife's ministry as well. By treating each other with respect and honor, with the wife submitting to her husband's leadership, and with the husband treating his wife with gentleness and honor, together, they can be harmonious force. Prayer is powerful, both to change us and change others. It is a vital part of our Christian lives, and it is hindered when the husband is not leading his family correctly. While both the husband and the wive have an equal responsibility to each other, the husband is ultimately responsible. If he is not treating his wife like the delicate treasure she is, and is not valuing her, than his prayers are hindered, as are their prayers together.

Further, this passage complements Ephesians 5:22-33 and contains many of the same themes. Taken together, it is clear just how important marriage is, and the importance of harmony in the marriage. When the wife is fulfilling her duty to her husband and the husband is fulfilling his duty to his wife, they together can be a powerful team to be used for God's purposes, showcasing a picture of Christ and the Church, and being an effective team praying for God's will to be done. The Christian marriage is meant to thrive, bringing its participants together, and closer to God.

A Portrait of a Life of Obedience [Part 2] (1 Peter 2:18-25)

"Household slaves, submit with all fear to your masters, not only to the good and gentle but also to the cruel. 19 For it brings favor if, mindful of God’s will, someone endures grief from suffering unjustly. 20 For what credit is there if you sin and are punished, and you endure it? But when you do what is good and suffer, if you endure it, this brings favor with God." (1 Peter 2:18-20, HCSB)

Peter continues on the theme of submission to authority, and applies it to daily living with a special focus on slaves and masters. Slaves are commanded to submit to their masters, regardless of how they are treated, or whether their masters are good or evil. This concept is also discussed in Ephesians 6:5, Colossians 3:22, and Titus 2:9. The word "slave",  is better understood as translated in the HCSB because it conveys the idea of a household slave or household servant. 

While I would imagine none of us would consider ourselves to be in that position, more than likely we are employed by somebody and have someone in authority over us.  Therefore, the principles in this section apply to us as well (as most commentators agree). Regardless of how we are treated, we are to be submissive and respectful. While in our culture we do have the freedom to change jobs, or to have our positions moved around, etc, we still need to be respectful and submissive to our employers and supervisors. 

God honors our suffering in submission. If we suffer for doing right, we are blessed. However, if we sin and suffer for it, there is no blessing or credit to us - we are receiving our just punishment. In this case, suffering is what we justly deserve. There is no honor in that. However, if we are living as Christ desires in our workplaces, and we suffer for it, then we will have favor with God as Peter describes. 

This passage also illuminates further the idea of submission. By way of specific example, Peter explains what submission to authorities looks like in a more practical sense, be it to government authorities or other rulers over us, such as masters or employers. 

"For you were called to this,
because Christ also suffered for you,
leaving you an example,
so that you should follow in His steps.
22 He did not commit sin,
and no deceit was found in His mouth;
23 when He was reviled,
He did not revile in return;
when He was suffering,
He did not threaten
but entrusted Himself to the One who judges justly." 
(1 Peter 2:21-23, HCSB)

This passage makes it clear: we are called to suffer. This goes counter to our commonly held, comfortable American way of thinking about Christianity. We think that Christianity is about us, and we pray to be comfortable and safe. If you suffer, you must be out of the will of God. Often, when we are at church, our prayer requests reflect this way of thinking: We pray for people to get better, to be comfortable, to come through surgery with no problems, etc. (Please note; I am not saying these things are bad in and of themselves. There is great value in praying for each other. The problem lies in our mentality that everything should be as comfortable and painless as possible here on earth, and so we focus our prayers on our well being.)

Peter is clear, though. Just as Christ suffered for us, so we are called to follow in his steps, and suffer for Him. Christ sets an example for us that we are to follow. In the next several verses, Peter explains in specific details how Christ suffered for us. While Christ is sinless, and we are not, the fact remains that we are expected to follow Him and walk as He walked. We do not do this in and of ourselves; that is impossible for us on our own. Instead, living by the Spirit and being empowered by His leading, we can follow in Christ's example

Christ did not sin, nor was He dominated by sin. Deceit was not in His mouth. While we can never attain to the fullest this characteristic of following Christ, this is an encouragement and exhortation to us to not allow our sufferings to be an excuse to sin. Falsehood and deception have no place in our lives.

When Christ was reviled, mocked, and tormented, He did not return like in kind. What people do to us does not give us license to do the same back. In this example, we see Jesus living what He preached. He taught us to "turn the other cheek" when being reviled, instead of retaliating back. When He was being mocked and reviled before His Crucifixion, He did not revile back, but turned the other cheek, enduring the suffering because He knew that this was the only way He could accomplish His purposes, and because He was acting in obedience to His Father.

Christ gives us an example of holding our tongue, especially when we suffer as He did. It is easy to abuse others with our tongue, especially when they are not present. But Christ did neither. He did not threaten or speak against His oppressors. Likewise, we should not and cannot. We simply do not have the right to do so.

In contrast, Christ entrusted Himself to God, the righteous Judge. The word "entrusted", translated from "paradidōmi",  also carries the idea of "surrender". Thus, another way to translate this particular passage is that Christ surrendered, or yielded, Himself to the Father's will and into the Father's control. Ultimately, God will judge those who mistreated us and mistreated Christ because we were following Him. However, it is not our place to retaliate, or to condemn those who mistreat and persecute us. Instead we need to surrender ourselves to following God. He is the Just Judge who judges rightly. He will settle accounts. We need to obey and yield ourselves to His plan.

"He Himself bore our sins
in His body on the tree,
so that, having died to sins,
we might live for righteousness;
you have been healed by His wounds.
25 For you were like sheep going astray,
but you have now returned
to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls." (1 Peter 2:24-25, HCSB)

Christ bore our sins in His body. His sufferings had a purpose that transcends any earthly purpose. In these few short lines, Peter puts forth a beautiful exposition on Christ's atoning sacrifice. Christ's sufferings removed our sins from us, so that we can live for Him. Our wounds have been healed, our wandering over. The pain and agony that Christ endured had a glorious purpose. 

Therefore, in the face of such trials, It is good to be reminded of how much Christ has suffered for us. When viewed in that light, our momentary sufferings and trials seem insignificant. When we suffer for Him as a Christian, we are in a small way imitating Him. He sacrificed for us. In light of this, a call to suffer for Him, for His name, only seems right. 

Him bearing our sins in His body looks back to Isaiah 53 where He is prophesied as the suffering servant: 

"Yet He Himself bore our sicknesses,
and He carried our pains;
but we in turn regarded Him stricken,
struck down by God, and afflicted.
5 But He was pierced because of our transgressions,
crushed because of our iniquities;
punishment for our peace was on Him,
and we are healed by His wounds.
6 We all went astray like sheep;
we all have turned to our own way;
and the Lord has punished Him
for the iniquity of us all." (Isaiah 53:4-6, HCSB). 

This passage parallels what Peter describes here in 1 Peter, with direct quotations from Isaiah 53:5 (1 Peter 2:24) and Isaiah 53:6 (1 Peter 2:25). (I have underlined the portions of the passage above that are referenced in 1 Peter 2:14-25) 

This passage in 1 Peter and here in Isaiah 53 also parallels with Galatians 3:13: "Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, because it is written: Everyone who is hung on a tree is cursed." (Galatians 3:13, HCSB). Christ became cursed in our place, redeeming us from the curse of the law. Now, we are free to live for Him! 

The phrase in verse 24, "Having died to sins... live for righteousness", parallels what Paul writes in Romans 6:1-3. "What should we say then? Should we continue in sin so that grace may multiply? 2 Absolutely not! How can we who died to sin still live in it? 3 Or are you unaware that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? " (Romans 6:1-3, HCSB) Because of His sacrifice, we too have died- to our sin nature. Paul makes it clear that we can no longer live in it. This is the natural our flow of choosing to identify with Christ's death. By choosing to follow Christ, we are baptized into His death, making us dead to the world and dead to sin.  Romans 6:8-12 makes this clear as well. Since Christ died to sin and we have now also died by being baptized into Him, we are to live with Him, walking as He walked. This is the key to walking in His steps- dying to sin. 

Therefore, being dead to sin, we can not let it live and work in us. Instead we are to live in righteousness, not returning to our dead way of life. While this is not the best illustration, it would be like trying to return to fitting in your baby clothes and cradle after you have grown up. You can try to live in that way, but it is obvious you do not belong, and it is infinitely foolish to do so! 

We have been "healed by His wounds" (From Isaiah 53:5). This refers to His death, not necessarily the sufferings prior to this event. What a fascinating paradox! We are healed by Christ's painful, agonizing death. But, it is the only way we can have life, and it is the only way that He can have a chosen priesthood ready to serve and follow Him. 

"Healed by His wounds" also contrasts with Isaiah 6:10 as Jesus refers to it in John 12:40.
"This is why they were unable to believe, because Isaiah also said:

40 He has blinded their eyes
and hardened their hearts,
so that they would not see with their eyes
or understand with their hearts,
and be converted,
and I would heal them.

41 Isaiah said these things because he saw His glory and spoke about Him." (John 12:39-41, HCSB)

The world has been unable to believe and thus be healed by His wounds, because their eyes were blind and hearts hard. But we, by the grace of God, have had our eyes opened and our hearts softened by God so we can therefore be converted and healed. His wounds heal us and God enables us to be able to be healed. Without God's intervention, we would be like the rest of the world, blind and ignorant of God's love and the healing available through Christ. But God by His mercy sees fit to open our eyes and soften our hearts through various circumstances and events until we can see the healing available through Christ's death and turn and be converted.

Peter than refers to imagery that is commonly used of God's people in scripture: sheep. Quoting from Isaiah 53:6, he describes how we all have gone astray, like sheep. Each of us has turned to follow his own path, and his own ideas and dreams. But, while we were ensnared by our sin and flesh, the Good Shepherd has brought us to Himself. We have been returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of our souls.

In the face of suffering, especially as Peter has described here, it is vitally important to remember that Christ has walked ahead of us and has suffered for us to an extent that we will never fully grasp. By His deaths, we are healed: our sins have been removed. Therefore, He has healed us from our sinful condition by making us dead to sin and now we are commanded to live for righteousness. We are to live in obedience to Him by walking in His steps, living as He did. We have been called to suffer for Him and we do so gladly because He is our Shepherd and Guardian and He judges rightly. Obedience is the only natural response to the Good Shepherd, who has healed us so that we may see and believe.